oh dear it is too hot to be living in a house without air conditioning. what do I do what do I do?
I'm surviving but only just barely and I don't know if I can keep at it.
seriously, who decided that it could be this hot? I'd like to find out so that I could write them a politely worded but nonetheless opinionated letter. if you find out before I do, here's a draft of the one that I'm writing. Please feel free to send it for me.
I am sending you this letter as it has recently come to my attention that you are the reason for this horrendous heat. Please refrain from doing this, as my feet are melting into the sidewalk which (rather unsurprisingly) is an acutely painful experience. Your recent rise in temperature has likely brought more business to the frozen dessert industry, and although strawberry lemonade water ice is delicious, I cannot afford to continue to spend such an inordinate percentage of my income on frozen water and flavoring.
Please stop. I cannot take this anymore. I have no containers in my house that hold enough water and I don't like moving back and forth between my couch and freezer to get more ice/stick my head into the frozen peas. It's too hot.
Regrettably without love,